sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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