best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
