1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
