he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
