At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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