Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
