I love black thongs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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