i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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