that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
