They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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