Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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