i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
