I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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