I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
