ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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