As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All the doctor said was why
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
