If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
