have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
