Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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