It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
