Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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