It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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