i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
