I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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