Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
