i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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