Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
