It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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