we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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