We won't sleep together?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
no you cant smoke seaweed
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
