AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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