I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
