he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
