I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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