And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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