You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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