I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
