That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize