Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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