dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
