Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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