So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
