I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
