I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
