In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
