We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
