I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
