he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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