Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
