we have officially lost it.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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