worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
