And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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