Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
