At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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