He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
