so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
