i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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