gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
