i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize