Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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