The brown eye won't let me do that either.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
