You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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