Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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