The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
