forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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