smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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