There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize