yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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