I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
